Two Different Kinds of Strong

Thank you for all your words of encouragement post-surgery. I’ve had two different versions of strong in my life this week.  First, the #BostonStrong.

I felt so helpless last week as much of the running community came together the day after the events to run for those in Boston. I obviously couldn’t. When I found out about this weeks events at my local running store, I had to be there.

I hobbled on my one crutch and went to hang out at Big Peach Running Co (midtown). I saw tons of my TNT running friends, twitter friends, and my blogging friends.  800 runners went to each of their 5 locations in Atlanta. In the pic below, we are all holding up “1” based on a poem that was written by one of the gals at Big Peach. We are one!

11928_159757777524644_336857321_n 21153_159758277524594_1448178751_nI was lucky enough to hang out in this recovery contraption while everyone ran their 4ish miles.

IMG_3407I then had dinner with Jesica (runladylike), Lindsay (TwistedRunning), and Melissa, (My Peach life).

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I needed that time with runners. I needed that time to connect. Why?

Because I am not feeling strong. I am not feeling like a runner. Hell, I definitely don’t feel like an athlete. I may have filled you on the physical aspects of my surgery, but I left out the mental aspect. This is different than any other injury I have had. Those are usually easy to fix.  A chiropractor visit, a foam roll, a couple days off, a massage and even another form of cross training can help get through/fix the problem.

I was/am bed ridden. Sitting for too long hurts. Standing for too long hurts.  The only sort of exercise I get is phyiscal therapy. If you’ve been reading the blog for a while, you know I had a goal to lose weight and I hit my goal. Well, I was really worried about gaining weight during my time off from exercise. Turns out, you lose muscle mass in about two weeks. I’m down another 5 pounds and not on purpose. Several of my girlfriends commented on how skinny my legs are and how small my butt is now.

Good? No. I don’t want skinny legs. I had skinny legs when I wasn’t an athlete. I loved my quad muscles-they gave my legs definition. I liked my junk in the trunk too. Those legs and glutes have carried me across 30 plus finish lines and that is all I want them to do.

Examples of how weak they are: I attempted to go shopping (yes, I am hard headed) on Sunday-after two hours I was absolutely exhausted. The “shopper” me would’ve never given up 50% off at Banana Republic-but I literally left the mall crying. Sobbing. I couldn’t move another step. I had to rest. Work is no different. I can only make calls (outside sales) for about 3 hours before I have to rest. Tears again.

Holding back tears (see a common thread yet?) yesterday, I told my PT that I was struggling mentally. She told me that to be honest, the mental part of the recovery is harder than the physical. She said most of her active patients have felt the exact same way I do. She did say that building up the muscle is a lot harder than losing it.  That is very apparent. 

I am attempting to get my strength back and stay strong by doing my PT work at home too. I picked up adjustable ankle weights so I can do the weight-specific exercises at home and not just twice a week in PT.IMG_3418

I am proud of the running community for staying strong during such horrible events. I know that I will eventually get my strong back. I know that I will shed more tears and there will be plenty more frustration. I hope you won’t mind a little bit of honesty here and there about how my recovery is going. Thanks for listening. 🙂

Did you participate in a #bostonstrong event in your town? 

 

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Elizabeth

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13 Comments

  • Get better soon! The surgery is done and it went well. Recover fast!!
    I was going to do a solidarity run with the Portland Tri Club but I got out of work too late. 🙁 I did a run on my own to honor the runners and victims of this awful act!

  • You are so stinking cute in those photos. I wish that my schedule would have allowed me to make the run event for Boston on Monday, but I sadly missed it. I am still bummed about it. :/

    Keep on smiling and hang in there. Hugs!

  • Hang in there! I went to a local Runners for Boston event too and it was great to see everyone coming together and just the number of people who came out to support it.

  • It is so hard, isn’t it?? I am sorry for you, mostly because I know how frustrating it is to be unable to do all the things you worked so hard to be able to do! From August to the end of November last year I was totally non-weight-bearing on crutches for a tibial stress fracture. I do think the mental part was the worst for me. I can only imagine how much harder it is with the extra pain of surgery! Following the plan is all you can do now, and it sounds like you’re doing a good job of that. Keep it up and hang in there. You’ll be stronger mentally when it’s finally time to get stronger physically!

  • Being mentally strong is always tough. I think you’re handling you scenario like all of us would and there is NOTHING wrong with shedding some tears. You WILL come back stronger because thats just how determined you are. Chin up and know that this is very temporary and you will get back to where you once were and beyond.

  • I know exactly what you are going through. EXACTLY. Because I am going through the same exact thing right now. I am 29 weeks pregnant and had been working out EVERY DAY – still running 5 miles, still lifting weights in an I’m pregnant safe kind of way, dr approved. And then I started having preterm contractions and I’ve been on bed rest for 4 weeks. FOUR WEEKS. I will be on bed rest for another 7 weeks. I went to the Dr after 3 weeks and had lost weight. Muscle weight. I’m so discouraged even though I KNOW I’ll be back to my old self eventually. The mental battle is so much harder than anything else. If it makes you feel any better I won’t be able to do ANY exercise until August. So there are people out there feeling your pain 🙂

  • BE honest! It definitely helps to let it out and have others support you 🙂
    And youre in the hardest part of recovery right now — once your strength starts coming back, you’ll be on the fast track. Stick with it – Like others have said, you will be back with more potential strength than before!

  • I’m glad you at least went to the event (and went to the mall). You are doing as much as you can. For example getting the weights so you can use them more often than in PT. It sounds very tough but I’m proud of you, hang in there!

  • I should have read this before 2/23/17…….on week 3 of the same recovery with the same provider…..and I hate my life. I have no idea how much dust is on my coffee tables. I wear hoodies everyday so I can carry things with me (faux Kangaroo). I think I’m gaining weight or just still swollen who knows. My lady parts are still numb as well. Did I mention my mother in law is coming in town next week……..

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