Thank you for all your words of encouragement post-surgery. I’ve had two different versions of strong in my life this week. First, the #BostonStrong.
I felt so helpless last week as much of the running community came together the day after the events to run for those in Boston. I obviously couldn’t. When I found out about this weeks events at my local running store, I had to be there.
I hobbled on my one crutch and went to hang out at Big Peach Running Co (midtown). I saw tons of my TNT running friends, twitter friends, and my blogging friends. 800 runners went to each of their 5 locations in Atlanta. In the pic below, we are all holding up “1” based on a poem that was written by one of the gals at Big Peach. We are one!
I was lucky enough to hang out in this recovery contraption while everyone ran their 4ish miles.
I needed that time with runners. I needed that time to connect. Why?
Because I am not feeling strong. I am not feeling like a runner. Hell, I definitely don’t feel like an athlete. I may have filled you on the physical aspects of my surgery, but I left out the mental aspect. This is different than any other injury I have had. Those are usually easy to fix. A chiropractor visit, a foam roll, a couple days off, a massage and even another form of cross training can help get through/fix the problem.
I was/am bed ridden. Sitting for too long hurts. Standing for too long hurts. The only sort of exercise I get is phyiscal therapy. If you’ve been reading the blog for a while, you know I had a goal to lose weight and I hit my goal. Well, I was really worried about gaining weight during my time off from exercise. Turns out, you lose muscle mass in about two weeks. I’m down another 5 pounds and not on purpose. Several of my girlfriends commented on how skinny my legs are and how small my butt is now.
Good? No. I don’t want skinny legs. I had skinny legs when I wasn’t an athlete. I loved my quad muscles-they gave my legs definition. I liked my junk in the trunk too. Those legs and glutes have carried me across 30 plus finish lines and that is all I want them to do.
Examples of how weak they are: I attempted to go shopping (yes, I am hard headed) on Sunday-after two hours I was absolutely exhausted. The “shopper” me would’ve never given up 50% off at Banana Republic-but I literally left the mall crying. Sobbing. I couldn’t move another step. I had to rest. Work is no different. I can only make calls (outside sales) for about 3 hours before I have to rest. Tears again.
Holding back tears (see a common thread yet?) yesterday, I told my PT that I was struggling mentally. She told me that to be honest, the mental part of the recovery is harder than the physical. She said most of her active patients have felt the exact same way I do. She did say that building up the muscle is a lot harder than losing it. That is very apparent.
I am attempting to get my strength back and stay strong by doing my PT work at home too. I picked up adjustable ankle weights so I can do the weight-specific exercises at home and not just twice a week in PT.
I am proud of the running community for staying strong during such horrible events. I know that I will eventually get my strong back. I know that I will shed more tears and there will be plenty more frustration. I hope you won’t mind a little bit of honesty here and there about how my recovery is going. Thanks for listening.
Did you participate in a #bostonstrong event in your town?