This morning, I posted this pic on instagram.
Everyone thought I was having a little peanut. THAT is definitely not happening at this moment in my life and I was having a needle instead (Thanks Jess, for the title).
Instead, I was getting an ultrasound and needle injection on my hip. That is my hip socket and the tiny line to the right of it is a big ole needle.
To back it up…I finally heard back from my doc about my hip on Tuesday night. He was apparently out of town and I didn’t know it. I felt a little bad about stalking and several voicemails, but, an MRI is no joke and no one wants to wait around knowing if something is broken. It turns out the MRI was inconclusive. It showed damage to my hip (labral tear) and to my butt (weak). He said we would need to inject the hip (joint) to see if the pain stopped. If it did, it was a hip issue. If not, it was a butt issue. Simple as that. I have never prayed for a weak butt in my life, but you can bet the Big Man upstairs and I had a talk on Tuesday night.
Turns out doc didn’t have any openings on Wednesday. Another day of waiting. Another day of being annoyed (Atlanta peeps-debatable on whether or not I would recommend Emory-even though I like the doc).
So back to this morning. I hate needles. I will confess tears of fear before the appointment. Fear of a hip tear, fear of the unknown of my running, and a super big fear of needles. The doc and nurse numbed up my leg, I looked away, and felt a little pain when the needle went in. He used the ultrasound to guide the needle. I didn’t watch any of it, just asked for pics later. You have to admit, science is pretty cool.
Within a few minutes I was sitting indian-style with no pain. Before the shot, I could feel soreness in my hip sitting the exact same way. I knew what he was going to say, but had to wait another 10 minutes for him to come back and check on me. He confirmed my thoughts but didn’t seem to be too worried about my recovery.
I have a labral tear in my hip. Here’s what I know.
- Me running too much, too fast, blah blah blah DID NOT CAUSE THIS.
- We really don’t know what causes it, because a small tear could’ve been there for a while and no one would know without having an MRI to start. A weakness in my butt could’ve caused me to overcompensate and make the tear worse. Again, no clue.
- I have 4 weeks of PT ahead of me.
- I may or may not be able to run RNRNOLA, Publix, and Eugene. Only time and PT will tell.
- If PT doesn’t work, I may have to have surgery.
- I have a new job with travel (gone this Sun-Wed) and I have 15 days without insurance starting February 1st. This puts a damper on my PT needs.
- I start PT at 6:45am tomorrow morning and hopefully they can give me work to do while I am gone and see me on my last day of insurance and then hopefully work out some sort of deal until insurance kicks in on February 14th.
- I will verify with PT that biking and pilates are still okay to do right now(they don’t hurt) and possibly get back on the trusty Alter G.
- Don’t overdo it, the shot will give a feeling of no pain/no injury (it really is awesome)
I’m all about honesty, so here are my true thoughts that have stayed in my head for the past week and a half and are taking over my life this afternoon. Please forgive this pity party for 1 for just one moment…
You love running. (insert tears, sadness, drama, hissy fit throwing madness here) Everyone else is having killer runs and training sessions and being all badass. You suck. You won’t BQ this year or even a run a marathon in Eugene. Why even run anymore? Give it up. You just can’t catch a break. You on fire-killing it-and boom. All to a halt. Why am I dealt this hand of cards? Please let me run injury free for a year. Why does this keep happening to me? Ankle, attack, and now the hip. I just want to quit.
I go from that nonsense to this within a few minutes…
Suck it up buttercup! Look at how strong you were after your dumb ankle sprain! You came back with a vengeance. You love to run, stop whining! You have many years of running ahead and you will get through it. If you can’t run, be a cheerleader.
Welcome to my world of runner crazy.
So that is that. Hopefully I’ll have more answers tomorrow after PT. Here’s hoping it’s good news. In the mean time, you will find me wallowing in my sorrows with my stocking stuffer of truffles from P.
I kid, I kid. I’m still on my diet y’all.
Know anyone with a hip labral tear and NOT had surgery? How do you get rid of the crazy negativity in your head? Have you had non-pregnancy ultrasound?