Confession. I am worried I am falling out of love with running. It worries me. It freaks me out. I have so many races planned. But lately my runs have felt like more of a chore and a goal than something I WANT to do for FUN. I have only been running (racing) for a little over 2 years and more seriously, I would say, for a year.
Each run, for the most part, has been a struggle. If I am on the treadmill I stare at the miles and time. If I am on the streets its a constant garmin check. I think it could be a number of things but I am not sure.
2. I need a mental break.
I have a problem saying “no” and not “doing it all.” I burn the candle at both ends and usually have something to do every single night of the week. I love being busy, having something to do outside of work and I love my friends. But it is exhausting. There could be an entire blog post on my issues with saying “no.” I also realized this week that since I started racing more last January I haven’t taken a single trip for myself that doesn’t involve a race (keep in mind I have 4 more planned for this year). I need a real vacation. A beach and a cocktail. A good book. Not a bachelorette party, not a shower, not a wedding, etc. A real vacation. For Elizabeth.
3. The Heat
Could this be the real problem? I mentioned on DailyMile that I was struggling and a DM friend sent me this link from the August Issue (2010) of Runners World. I am definitely not sleeping well and I am sweating like a maniac and I already have asthma/allergy issues. I literally DREAD sweating for 2 hours. I hate when it gets in my eyes and I hate not being able to feel cool (or cool off). I suck it up and do it because I know I don’t have a choice (and before summer started I truly loved running).
4. A Medal
I was running a long (marathon or 1/2) race each month for about 5 months and haven’t done one since May. Maybe I just miss the race? Miss the bling? I learned this summer that 5K’s and 10K’s really aren’t my favs anymore. I guess I will soon find out if that is an issue at RNR Providence 🙂
I really don’t want to stop running. I want to love it again. I want to have the desire to lace up my shoes. I don’t want it to be a burden. A chore. A job.