Judgement

I will say one of the favorite things about my life are the many friendships that I have.  Most of my friends will tell you I have never met a stranger.  I take after my dad.  Which is why we are probably both in sales. I have close friendships from many different phases in my life-high school, college, current job, previous job, tennis, and team in training.  It is sometimes a lot to keep up with, but that is another post for another day.

My high school girl friends (aka 90210) are the ones I have known the longest (obviously) and have seen me go through many changes in my life.  I literally talk to several of them on an almost daily basis (the beauty of outside sales and stay-at-home moms).  They have been there for me through the best, worst, hardest and happiest times of my life.  But, I am a different place in my life than they are-I will admit some love to live vicariously through me-I am single, work full time, travel, and well, run…a lot.

Amanda’s wedding April 2010-this truly captures us-can’t you see why I love them?

This weekend is one of the girls bachelorette party and I cannot wait.  I cherish the time we all get to spend together because it is so little these days-we are all spread out in the South and again, several of them have families.  I know we will have a blast. But one thing keeps weighing on my mind, and I know most of you can relate.  I have a scheduled run.  Luckily it’s only 8 miles, but it still needs to be done.  And I don’t want to even have to do it….

I am the runner of the group.  My “running” friends are my “running” friends. The two don’t exactly cross over.  None of my high school friends race marathons and 1/2 marathons for shits and giggles.  And for that reason, I am afraid of judgement.  I know they probably get sick of hearing about my races and training runs but this is what is important to me.

I worry that they will get mad (or think it in their head) or  think that it is ridiculous that I have to run this weekend.  They aren’t training for a marathon so I don’t expect them to get it.  I have played the scenario out in my head over and over again.  I could run Friday afternoon when we get there and probably miss some quality drinking time or don’t drink as much Friday night and wake up early before they do to get the 8 miles in.  Either way I fear I will get comments or rolled eyes over what I choose to do.  And I know if they do make comments they don’t mean any harm or ill will towards me, they just may not see the point or understand why I love need to run.  

The same goes for me with my current eating situation. Most people who found out I gave up sweets, fried food and processed food (to a degree) thought I was nuts.  I heard many opinions and still do 3 weeks in.  Why would you do that?  What do you eat?  Don’t you want food that tastes good?  I guess it’s like the running–why would you want to run 26.2 miles?  Don’t you get sick of it?  Blah, Blah, Blah.  I know it will all probably come up again this weekend too, but I am okay with that.

I’m not saying that my friends judge me right now, I am more or less afraid of what they may (or may already) think.  And it’s not just my high school friends (they come up because I am seeing them this weekend) it is all of my friends.  I have had to miss (or not “celebrate” as hard) birthday parties, bridal showers, dinners and nights out, holidays, etc. for running.  I’m sure they all think I am nuts and probably a little selfish.  But that is my choice, and I know that.

My point is I value my friends and family’s opinions a lot.  I seek their approval in many ways.  This is one of those ways.  I want them to be proud of my accomplishments.  I hope that they can understand that this is my passion and to not judge my “wacky” ways.  

I don’t want my personal health decisions, whether it be running or eating, to be a reason to judge me (or get upset with me).  And I hope that it’s not.

Do you struggle with this?  Do you think that your friends judge what you do?  Or do they accept it and get it?  

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Elizabeth

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4 Comments

  • I COMPLETELY understand your point of view and where you are coming from bc I too have felt that way, HOWEVER, have you ever thought the opposite? Like maybe they admire you for your dedication, wishing they felt as passionate about something as you do for running? It was amazing to me when I switched my mentality from "I hope they don't judge me" to "I have a purpose w/ my running" how more and more of my friends would come forward and be like "wow, I wish I had that discipline" or "i want to start up running" or such. I know it sounds crazy, but you never know

  • Luckily my friends cross over. I don't talk to high school friends, but I havecollege friends who enjoy running, one of my friends from when I worked at the gap, all my friends from when I worked st 6 flags, my brother & even friends at my current job who love running & races. I always have someone who understands which is awesome & always have people to race with which is even better!

    Most of my friends are pretty health conscious foodwise so that helps too. I've skipped a run for a bachelorette party though, I'm not as hardcore lol

  • I am going to ask you a question. I don't judge you at all for your answer at all!!

    When you look back on this weekend next week, next month or next year, are you going to be bummed you missed a run or time with your friends?

    As long as you behave true to your heart, your friends will not judge you. 🙂

    Either decision you make is OK! You're the only one that has to live with it.

  • I think Jill asks a great question and one that puts perspective on your decision. I for sure understand where you are coming from. I am no where near as dedicated as you, but with the wedding coming up I have really been trying to eat well and work out regularly. It has been tough, but you just have to stick with whats most important and best for you.

    Remember – you said it yourself, these girls have been your friends for over 10 years. They know you and understand what a dedicated person you are. If they do give you a hard time, its becuase they know you can handle it and they will understand!

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